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| part of me wants to take a 3 month leave and visit other churches..
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| anyways i got to visit a retreat site where our yg will have our retreat.. and me and the retreat director got to talking..
one thing she noted was that we are like one of the *millionth* korean youth group to come up for a retreat.. she was like "there are some seasons when indian groups come over, sometimes chinese groups come over.. but there never is a time when we do NOT have a korean youth group over.."
and so i got to be thinking to myself "can such *church* culture be a good thing?" and then the retreat director said this: "whenever the chinese groups come, they come as a church - young and old together. it seems that no matter where the korean churches might come from, whether they are from NJ, NY, or conneticutt, they always be bringing YOUTH groups!"
man what the retreat director said bugged me out all of last night. i mean, i am thinking WHY is my church SO compartmentalized? i mean, it's not that there is a division between the youths and their families because a great majority of my youths have great relationships with their parents. but it always seems like when they come to church, they ALWAYS have to be alienated from their parents.. i mean, yeah, Jesus did talk of how sometimes families have to break off for the sake of the Gospel but WHAT IF when the WHOLE family is Gospel-believing?
and here is one thing: my youth teachers HATE it whenever our youth group have to do something with the EM.. like they think if our yg chill with the em, then our youths will be tainted..
man i feel like i am climbing up the mount everest the more i get into youth ministry..
i'm just saying..
yeah.
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| sometimes i do wonder if i chose to become a pastor so early.. and i do wonder if i should've waited 5 more years of more maturity before i chose to become a pastor..
it has been good for the year so far, but as much as i try to be all grown up, my immaturity still comes up.. and sometimes they tell me that my immaturity/lack of focus hurts the yg..
there are few other youth pastors in the nyc area who are around my age [and some even younger].. some of the complaints in regards of these pastors are that they are too filled with pride and ego and the what-nots.. when they complain/gossip to me like that, i just tell them that it's not easy being in your early 20s and be put into the pastor position
there is one young pastor i know, who has been a pastor right after high school, and he is a youth pastor of a big church..
of another young pastor i know, he is my age.. BUT he has had a pastoral position in about three churches already!
i'm not in a position to judge whether or not if they are too filled up in their heads and the what-nots.. but i can speak for myself, i guess..
michael beasley recently got checked into rehab for depression and substance abuse.. and derrick rose recently was implicated in the SAT thing.. and i guess i can relate to these young players being thrown into the limelight to a point..
i gotta say that 2007 was one of my most difficult years of my life.. i think that was the first year i went through some emotional roller-coaster rides of some sort.. i really thought i was going to breakdown that year in some really bad way.. now it is 2009, and my first year in the youth ministry has been a BIG ups and downs..
i gotta say that now i know in a deeper way why some of the teenage funs are bad.. things like weed, alcohol, parties, trash-talking, pornography might be fun.. but the more they dig into your flesh, the bigger the void they create.. and while God does work to restore, the bigger the void, the more work God has to do to restore the voids created by the "teenage funs"..
through it all, i know i need God's protection more and more..
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